Scary first today, but i’m excited :)
Should’ve done this a long time ago.
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president
Does anyone ever see themselves the way everyone else sees them?
and does that even matter? Most likely not,
but some opinions surprise me. It just made me wonder.
Saw some old friends,
met some new ones.
I was the usual wallflower at first, observing all the different personalities,
and there was a wide range of personality there lol.
Once a few bunches left I felt comfortable enough to get real with the rest.
Not that I was waiting for specific people to leave or anything, but you can definitely feel the change in atmosphere after some did.
I usually don’t talk shit but…
ugh, I can’t even say the things I’m thinking.
I know not saying it “out loud” doesn’t make me a better person,
it just makes me seem (and feel) like it.
But this is about as much as I will publicly say.
It’s not even anything too terrible;
it’s just a very strong dislike of someone.
And I feel bad about even that.
And I do it to myself why?
Why do I seek out the “drama”?
There’s really no reason or purpose for it.
I don’t even do anything about it,
I don’t even say anything or talk about it to anyone,
I just let it stir up inside me.
It kinda makes me realize that “evil” is natural rather than created/taught.
I seek it out, but not to do anything with or take any action on; I just want a little fire inside. I don’t know exactly what purpose it serves, but it feels a little satisfying.
but watching romantic comedies makes me miss and appreciate him even more.
Usually it’s said that these type of movies create unrealistic expectations for women, that we just set these impossible standards by them only to inevitably be let down.
But ALL reality ALL the time… I mean there’s nothing wrong with it, but sometimes it’s nice to get caught up in the romanticized version of what actually happens. Yea, we all want flowers for no reason, to be shown outrageous gestures of love, and all that other fluff. But it’s just that; fluff, and meaningless without the real, raw love behind it.
I know that what we have is nothing like the relationships conveyed in rom coms. What we have is real, imperfect, and honest and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
So why do I miss him more when I get caught up in the idealized, unrealistic scenarios of romantic comedies? All this, and I still have no idea why. It puts me in the mood I guess.
All the pain I feel is supposed to be unique to the human experience.
I should be grateful for the opportunity of having these emotions.
I guess. Perspective, yea?
Getting ready for work at 4am on about an hour of sleep… I’m actually concerned most for those around me when the caffeine wears off. Apologies in advance.
I dreamt I was a ghost. I was invisible.
But he knew I was in the room.
He could sense, find, and follow me.
He knew I was there and would walk right up to me, looking me straight in the eyes.
But this is impossible, I thought, he cant see me, he is just looking through me.
So I would float backwards and to the side to prove it, but he would follow with a knowing grin.
It sort of scared me, feeling like he wanted to catch and trap me,
but I thought it was kind of a fun game because I knew he couldn’t see me. He could only sense me and I was intrigued as to how he could.
He showed me secrets of his because he knew they couldn’t go any further.
He expressed that these were things he felt he couldn’t share with me when I was alive, because he didn’t know how I would react. I felt as though he shouldn’t have waited; I was completely fine with it and it even peeked my interest a little.
Oh well, I thought, maybe we could have some fun now in my afterlife, playing these games of hide and seek and secrets. I would know him better than he ever let me, and he could find and understand my spirit better than he ever did before (or better than I ever let him?).